IT'S ZERO HOUR!

Yep, after three solid weeks (or was it more?) of working here at the computer until there was black mold--at least I THINK it was black mold--forming under my butt, the (hopefully) completed and correct files for the PREVIEW EDITION of my new book (see cover image below) went off to the printer late yesterday afternoon. Hurrah!

So what the hell am I doing up at 2:30 in the morning again? I'm sure as hell not going to clean my desk and office (which look like the twister from "The Wizard of Oz" has recently blown through, what with papers and research books and long-forgotten notes to myself scattered all over the effing place...even the floor). I'll take a stab at that maybe, oh, say, next Wednesday. Or maybe the Wednesday after that...

But the point is this: the new book is kinda done (sort of...explanation coming below) and we will indeed have

PREVIEW EDITION COPIES ON HAND IN THE ROAD AMERICA PADDOCK SHOP AT THE BIG, BLOWOUT WEATHERTECH INTERNATIONAL CHALLENGE VINTAGE RACE THIS COMING WEEKEND AT ROAD AMERICA. WOO HOO!

(only trouble is, you can't buy one...)

Lemme esplain:

The first thing you need to know is that, in spite of the typically misleading title, this is NOT just "a Lotus book" and it should and will appeal to anybody that likes my style and stories. Sure, in includes a lot of stuff and fluff about all the various Lotus cars (none of which I ever actually owned, by the way) I managed to connive or bullshit my way into and subsequently raced, track-tested, broke, blew up, tried in vain to fix, set fire to, etc. Like fr'instance the time I crashed the oldest Lotus in the Western Hemisphere into a low concrete wall during a time trial on Nassau Island in the Bahamas (followed by the part about that scandalous, still-unsolved, VooDoo ritual-tainted murder case of that strange and reclusive kazillionaire member of the British Peerage, Sir Harry Oakes, which happened nearby...and then there's the part about the little old man hidden away under the stairs at that exclusive restaurant in Nassau who used to hand-roll cigars for Fidel Castro...)

Or howabout the time JR Mitchell lent me his very nice early Lotus 7 at the Pittsburgh Vintage Grand Prix and I won the bloody race (hurrah!) but damn near killed somebody in the process?

For those of you (shame on you!) who either know nothing about or don't care a fig about Lotus automobiles, you will also find the following menagerie of topics and mentions in the new book:

*Abraham Lincoln's Inaugural Address

*The DeLorean/Chapman Cocaine Scandal

*Who first put freaking wings on racecars?

*Why Series One Lotus Europas were pure hell at toll booths

*Lotsa famous people, including: Paul Newman - Zsa Zsa Gabor - Dan Gurney - Dr. Ferdinand Porsche doing time in a French prison - David Hobbs plugging his book - Brian Redman ditto - Jimmy Clark - Parnelli Jones slugging Eddie Sachs in the mouth at a victory luncheon in Indianapolis - the Russian count who was really a pig farmer - going through Jim "Fitzy" Fitzgerald's race-driving school at Road Atlanta in a Hertz-rental Lincoln Town Car (very hard on the brakes and tire sidewalls!) - monocoque chassis design explained - Mario Andretti - driving the Ferrari "Breadvan" - Kim Kardashian's butt...and so much more!

SO WHY CAN'T I BUY ONE????

Well, it's like this:

The "REAL" book will be hard-bound, larger format (roughly 10 x 12), done on beautiful, glossy paper stock and will be chock-full of gorgeous (and not-so-gorgeous) color photography and illustrations (the "Preview Edition" is all black-and-white) and will be suitable for ostentatious display on your coffee table, bedside night stand, workbench, bar, or on the hood of your Healey, Hemi, Hudson, Hupmobile or Hispano-Suiza at a car show. It will be "bitchin," I promise.

But we won't have those books until the end of November (and I mean THIS year...honest!) which will be--can you hear those sleigh bells jingling?--just in time for Christmas! (Or whatever your personal-preference, sectarian or non-sectarian mid-winter holiday might be? Burt will be happy to sign and personalize those gift copies, too)

In the meantime, we need to get copies out to major-market reviewers, important car and motorsports moguls, mavens, market-makers and trend-setters and even a few of those all-the-rage poser "influencers' who should probably get a real job and move out of their parents' basements...

We also have some rights/ownership issues to resolve regarding some of the photographic images we want to use. It's not like we're trying to do an end-run on anybody (hey, I LOVE my shooters!), but more a case of "Jeez, do you remember who took this shot?"

We hope and plan to have all of that resolved so we can use all those wonderful (and, okay, not-so-wonderful) pictures and graphics with a clear conscience.

So here's the deal:

You can order yourself a copy of the big, beautiful "REAL" book right now (click below) for sixty bucks ($60.oo...but it's gonna go up to $75.oo on August 1st) and you will receive it end-November to beginning of December.

You can also (pay attention here!) order yourself a DELUXE EDITION of the new book for $80.oo (goes up to $95.oo on August 1st) and this INCLUDES AN ABSOLUTELY FREE, WE'LL MAIL IT OUT NEXT WEEK COPY OF THE SOFT-COVER, BLACK-AND-WHITE, 8-1/2 x 11 PREVIEW EDITION, SO YOU CAN START READING (and laughing) RIGHT AWAY!

And, if you're rich and easily led astray (and, moreover, want to REALLY help us out) you can choose to become a sponsor, which includes all of the above (Preview Edition plus a signed & personalized copy of the REAL book) plus you get your name in the book (or the name of someone you want to honor or amaze) on the sponsor page in the color section PLUS a special, spiffy track cap that ONLY goes out to our sponsors. You'll like it. Sponsorship is a paltry $250, and it is likewise available on the website. Just click on the link below.

And now...good night (wait, it's effing morning again, isn't it?

Tiny Trivia Answer: The publicity photo above is from the wonderful but hardly "PC" anymore 1940 movie "THE GHOST BREAKERS" featuring Bob Hope and Paulette Goddard

more trivia next time...I need some sleep.