Well, it's The 24 Hours of Le Mans time again this weekend and, having been in a few bush-league 24-hour races over the years, may I just say that, like climbing Mount Everest, wrangling rattlesnakes or engaging in a political/religious debate with your righteous Uncle Abner from Iowa (and particularly if Uncle Abner has had a few and his nose is glowing like a Christmas bulb), these are things better to HAVE DONE than to actually DO. So I will save my comments on Le Mans (and motorsports in general) for the end of this missive so as not to lose the folks who really don't care a whit about it. The rest of you can scroll right down to it if you like. Meet you there.

OUR CALIFORNIA TRIP:

As those who have been paying attention already know (you know who you are), Carol and I finally took our COVID-postponed trip to La-La Land to see our beloved kids in early May. And what a fine time we had...mostly just sitting around, watching some TV (they're both in the TV biz, he as a writer and she as a casting director), ordering takeout, cooking, going out to nice meals with some of their not-too-Hollywood friends. And walking, of course, since we're all health-conscious these days and the path around Lake Hollywood and touring through Toluca Lake to walk their spry but aging pup are always fun. He used to take great exception to me (one too many Alpha Males on the premises?) as he's follow behind me, barking his displeasure, and even, occasionally, leap up to give me a wee nip on the butt. Just to let me know how he felt about my presence. But "Hank" has mellowed over time like the overpriced cheese at Whole Foods, and he is now not only tolerant and even friendly, but will allow me to pet him so long as I don't get too clingy.

Surely a highlight of the trip was a visit to the Academy Museum of Motion Pictures on Wilshire Boulevard in L.A. (right across from The Petersen next time you're in town) and, after a kind of slow start, it eveolved into a stunning experience. We saw the 2-and-a-half story high backdrop set for the Mt. Rushmore scenes in Hitchcock's fabulous NORTH BY NORTHWEST, came face-to-face with BRUCE the shark from JAWS, saw all sorts of sci-fi stuff (son Adam's favorite) plus an incredible couple of rooms dedicated to THE GODFATHER movies. Pix below:

I thought the two most interesting things were the pages of the original Puzo "GODFATHER" book pasted into a much larger "script scrapbook" with Scorcese's notes and comments written all around it. And there was video of Marlon Brando's original screen test for the Don Corleone part--done off the cuff at Brando's house--where you literally saw him "discover" and become the character (including stuffing cotton in his cheeks) right before your eyes.

If you're any kind of film buff, I HEARTILY recommend a visit. But probably not on the same day as THE PETERSEN. That would likely amound to overload...

As I mentioned, son Adam is a writer and Writers' Guild member in LA, and so all four of us spent a long half-day picketing for the Writers' Guild. We walked around and around and around Disney Studio for something like 4 hours (see pic below) and, according to somebody's FitBit, we covered 8 miles. There were picket lines around all the studios and production companies and a lot of loud and welcome support from passing cars. Plus some well-to-do union supporter had a freebie Ice Cream truck on hand for the marchers. I marched on Washington a couple times back in the sixties, but we never had no ice cream truck!

The issues are sadly large and fundamental (a lot of it has to do with how guild writers USED to be engaged, treated & recompensed for their work and how studios and streaming companies have tried to change that) and there's a lot of ill will thanks to the frankly obscene "compensation" deals the studio bosses have awarded themselves while F-ing over the writers.

Then again, I may be prejudiced.

But I don't think so...

Last Weekend was neighbor, friend and fellow Alfisti Steve Crowley's annual "SPAM and SPICA Injection" party (this year billed as "SPAMSTOCK"), and it was, as usual, odd, entertaining and unusual in all the best possible ways.

I leave it to your imagination as to what SPAM is actually made of (the stuff of piglet nightmares, perhaps?), but it's beloved in England (in spite of its enduring traditions and history, a country never quite known for its culinary excellence) and in Hawaii, where they eat Poi. But Steve's party is nonetheless dedicated to the tri-fold proposition that:

1) It's not really that bad.

2) Clever cooks can make anything taste good

3) Pour enough beer, wine and random good cheer down people's throats and they'll eat anything and everything with gusto!

So we had some VERY spicy spam-included sort-of chili-gumbo goop in a crock pot that was WAY out of my personal comfort zone. See, different peoples have different feelings/tolerance levels relative to spicy foods, and I'm descended from a long line of Polish and Russian Ashkenazic Jews (by way of five generations here in the Chicago area) who think creamed herring is awfully spicy.

There was also simple, deep-fried spam slices (tasted better the more beer you drank) and lots of other spam-adjacent dishes. Undoubted favorite and overall top trophy winner was longtime friend Pam Zalinger's honestly delicious Spam-included potato salad. EXCELLENT. Really. And I'm not just saying that because she buys copies of my books all the time for her husband. Pic below is her with the winner's trophy, and below that some of the fine machinery in attendance. And more Spam (au natural this time)...

WRITING UPDATE:

Many of you kind folks have asked just what the heck is up with my no-longer visible column, race reports and feature stories in VINTAGE MOTORSORT magazine, and let me just say I'd like to know, too. Watch this space for further details.

I do have several feature story ideas I was working on, and hope they can ultimately find a home. On the book front, I'm working hard on the stories for POTSIDE II and have hopefully figured my way through the timeline difficulties on STEAMROLLER IV. Should have the short-story book before the end of the year, and the final novel sometime next summer.

Last on this front: would like to find a way to, without unseemly pandering, monetize these blog efforts. Would you pay two-fifty ($2.50) cash American to read one of these? Totally voluntary, BTW.

Let me know your thoughts.

Or just PayPal two-fifty to thinkfast@mindspring.com and make me smile from earlobe to earlobe.

MOTORSPORTS & LE MANS, Continued:

Thanks to the hard work, persistence, staying power and willingness to hang in there, compromise and negotiate (I'm talking about you and your team, longtime friend, audio book Mystery Celebrity Guest Voice and IMSA President John Doonan), there will be a sizeable American presence at Le Mans this year. And the strong possibility of a world-wide, even-Steven, level as a billiard table international endurance-racing series beckons from the horizon. That would be really cool.

The stumbling blocks along the way were the size of massive boulders, and every single one had to be pushed up the proverbial hill--Sisyphus-style--but I'm hopeful the light is visible at the end of the tunnel and hats off to all the folks on both sides who believe in this and want to make it happen.

Of particular interest this year, besides the American IMSA prototype teams having a go in France (although my crystal ball says, at least for now, the rules favor the Euro teams when it comes to outright speed) is the "Garage 56" NASCAR-style Chevy Camaro from Hendrick Motorsports. Some see it as Neanderthal and retro compared to the modern, high-tech cars. But it's a proven truism that development generally beats the crap out of genius design in [particularly endurance] racing, and I see it finishing in the bottom half of the top ten if it has a trouble-free run. Then again, a trouble-free run at Le Mans is like a hole-in-one in golf or bowling a perfect, 300 game. The possibility is always there, but the actual DOING of it, well...

To re-state something I waxed on and on about a few blogs ago, I watched last Sunday's yawn-provoking F1 race from Spain over coffee, and then listened to the broadcast of the Indycar downtown-Detroit street race later the same day whilst biking on my favorite trail. And it was, by comparison, an action-packed thriller. Sure, F1 races all over the freaking globe (including a few places with questionable politics/attitudes/human rights records, etc.) and the tech, teams and glamour are nonpareil. In fact, F1 has become very much "the place to be" (and to be seen!) for A-listers, film and music celebrities and the stinking rich. Good place for them, too, as the Great Unwashed can't afford the blessed price of admission. "The right crowd and no crowding," don't you know?

That said, watching the arguably best driver right now run away and hide in inarguably the best car on the grid can get a bit boring. I root for Lewis and Russel and Alonso and all the weekend over-achievers in under-achieving cars...but exciting it is not. In spite of the glitz and bloviating broadcasters.

Indycar is far more competitive and entertaining (especially on a hair-trigger, bundle-of-rattlesnakes street circuit like Detroit). Speaking of snakes, I encountered this terrifying King Cobra/Anaconda hybrid on the same bike ride. It was touch-and-go for awhile, but I somehow managed to escape...
Also did my best to watch the all-electric Formula E race from a steamy and sweltering Jakarta street circuit, and found it hard to stay amused in spite of Major-Brand-Name race teams, genuine driving talent and some really tight, close, wheel-to-wheel action. First off, the damn cars all look alike. Which makes sense, since they are. Sure, Indycars all use the same chassis, but the teams and sponsors have somehow made them look very different. By contrast, the E-Prix cars look like cupcakes out of the same baking tin, with just slightly different frosting. And the sound (or lack of it?) reminds me of a migrating flock of upright Hoovers. Maybe this is indeed the future of motorsports...but I hope the hell not. I want to see all-electric (or hydrogen-powered? Or???) transporters hauling the cars and ditto spectator cars and team rental cars in the parking areas, but I'd like my racing to come with hybrid propulsion. Including proper, inefficient 4-stroke motors with the shrieks, sputters and smells I love...

SUNDAY! SUNDAY! SUNDAY!

IN HINSDALE, IL!

Carol and I will once again be shamelessly hawking books/audiobooks and our wonderful logo clothing, accessories, prints & whatnot at the FUELFED CARS & COFFEE meet in Hinsdale, IL. on Sunday, June 11 from 9am-11am. Chance to see lotsa neat old European classic sports & GT cars and schmooze car stuff to your heart's content.

Gathering takes place rain or shine on Chicago Avenue between Garfield and Washington Streets along the north side of Burlington Park (just across the tracks from the Hinsdale train station.

See you there?

BURT'S BOOKS, MERCH and AUDIO
MAKE GREAT FATHERS' DAY GIFTS!

NEW TRIVIA!!!

Check out the guy and the chick (and the car) in the film noir still below. Then tell me:

1) Name of the actors (easy)?

2) Name of the movie?

3) ID the car (model year included)?

4) How does this scene end?

Catch the latest poop & pictures, the Jay Leno interview, Last Open Road swag & highly inappropriate attire from Finzio's Store and the lurid & occasionally embarrassing "ride with Burt" in-car racing videos on the hopefully now fully operational website at:

WWW.LASTOPENROAD.COM